Donald Trump Mistaken For Bag of Potato Chips

A 47 year old woman by the name of Jessica Jenkins has announced a lawsuit against the President of the United States after she mistook him for a bag of potato chips. The incident occurred on Monday, June 17th just outside of Times Square. “It was all very confusing,” said Jenkins. “It was my firstContinue reading “Donald Trump Mistaken For Bag of Potato Chips”

Dog Forgets Man in Car on Hot Summer Day

An eighty-pound Labrador retriever from Milwaukee, Wisconsin has been charged for locking his owner in the back seat of his Ford Explorer with the windows up on a 95 degree summer day with 80% humidity and a 4 mph breeze coming from the Northeast. The retriever, known to the locals as Ruff Ruff Roo Roo,Continue reading “Dog Forgets Man in Car on Hot Summer Day”

Starbucks Outbreak Kills Five

An outbreak of Starbucks construction has resulted in the death of five Los Angeles residents, the highest total in over a year. Reporter Megan Bleem was there to describe the horrific scene. “I watched it all unfold right in front of me. I was just sitting on the outside patio of the Starbucks on theContinue reading “Starbucks Outbreak Kills Five”

Jussie Smollett Doubles Down, Says He Was Also Attacked by Group of Racist Pandas

Just days after new insights have suggested Jussie Smollett may have orchestrated his own hate crime, the ‘Empire’ actor is revealing yet another alleged attack. “I just want to say that this is all really terrible. It’s terrible this first attack happened to me. It’s terrible people don’t believe me. They’re terrible. Everything is terrible.Continue reading “Jussie Smollett Doubles Down, Says He Was Also Attacked by Group of Racist Pandas”