UK Group Decides Best Action for Humanity is to End Humanity

A recently formed group out of the United Kingdom has decided we’d all be better off dead. The group, called BirthStrike, was originally established by Blythe Pepino, who, fearful of bringing children into a world on the verge of collapse, decided to unite with fifty-nine equally cynical depressives. Says Pepino, (real quote) “I do have a partner and would like to have children with him. We’re really in love, and it feels like the right thing to do,… But last year I read the latest report form the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change [IPCC] and realized how wrong it would be to bring a child into a world on the brink of catastrophe. Now we are looking for [others] who feel the same way to join us.”

We caught up with one of the first members to join, Gassandra Goffploob, and asked her about the future of the group and humanity itself.

“Well, the short answer is none. The group will soon seize to exist because we will all seize to exist. The world is ending, and it’s ending soon, and it’s all because of us. My husband and I thought about raising a strong, well-read child who could grow up to fight for a healthy planet and a healthy population, but we quickly realized that was a stupid idea and the world we be a better place if we were all just dead already. So, we decided not to bring a child into this crumbling world and join BirthStrike instead. It’s been really great, but I don’t think we’re doing enough. Not having our own children is a good start, but I think we need to take it a step further and start killing other people’s children. They’ve made a grave mistake, and we’d love to help them correct that mistake before it’s too late.”

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