CBS Reveals Ban on Humor in Super Bowl Ads

Two days after the New England Patriots defeated the Los Angeles Rams in Super Bowl LIII, CBS has announced they placed a ban on humor prior to accepting any advertisements.

An unnamed executive spoke about the issue on behalf of CBS. The executive, who literally does not have a name, said “We just wanted to be safe, you know. You can never be too careful. We realized that in order for something to be funny, it has to make fun of something, be true, or go against the status quo. And at CBS, we just aren’t about any of that. We almost didn’t run that Washington Post ad because we were informed some people aren’t comfortable with the letter “P.” We informed the Washington Post about this issue, but they said they would pay us ten million dollars, so we ended up accepting their ad.”

We asked viewers what they thought of the ban on humor. Harry Masterson, from somewhere in New Mexico, gave us this response: “I thought it was really great. Since the game was so boring, I think the ban on humor worked really well to accentuate that theme throughout the viewing experience.”

Kelly James was also supportive: “Oh I thought it was wonderful. I was really worried I might see something that would cause me to have a reaction. I watch the Super Bowl so I can eat chips and salsa, not laugh.”

Marcus Johnson was not only supportive, but eternally grateful for CBS. “This was just wonderful of CBS to do this. Two years ago, I was eating a chicken wing and saw that Doritos commercial, and the bone went straight down my throat. I had to be rushed to the hospital and they ended up having to pull the bone out through my eye. It was gruesome. I wouldn’t wish that experience on anyone. For CBS to ban humor to protect their viewers is more of what we need in this country. Thank you CBS. Thank you for looking out for me.”

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